Limited Insanity
by FabledFigment
Summary: A series of unrelated 100 word Rayne and PreRayne drabbles. Presented in roughly the order in which they were written.
1. Success?

Title: Success?

Author: FabledFigment

Disclaimer: I in no way intend to imply these characters are mine.

Rating: PG

Drabble fic. This came to me as I was riding the bus this morning. I nearly laughed aloud. Good thing I didn't, I look scary enough without cackling too.

lj-cut text"click here" 

"Hold still, gorramit. 'N stop giggling."

"I have allowed you to make the attempt. It falls on you to overcome the resultant laughter."

"You ticklish or something?"

"I might be if I were being tickled."

"Oomph. Alright, one more so there's no question. Heh Huph."

"You just spit on me." River complained as Jayne set her on her feet.

"'S what you get for doubting me. I told you I could bench press your scrawny ass." He sat up, not exactly breathing hard.

"Jayne wasn't holding her ass." She kissed his nose before running off.

"Get back here you little…"


	2. Metempsychosis

Warning: This gives the appearance of character death, but it is in the operatic sense. (As in the dead members of the cast then get back up and sing one more song.)

* * *

River died first. Her body imploded due to intense stresses.

Her soul was propelled outwards at high velocity, left hovering above her corpse. Lost.

Jayne's death followed quickly, if anything more extreme in its agony. More severe in its finality.

River's floating self settled into her lover's body. Forced his idle lungs to inhale.

His returning essence chased her shade away. She fluttered restlessly back to her own shattered shell.

Speech was impossible for long minutes.

"Damn, girl, you're the best lay I've ever had." Jayne said sleepily.

"The compliment is reciprocated." She murmured.

Then sleep, another death, overtook them.


	3. Crying in the Night

Waking up to crying was easier than waking up to screaming.

Girl had powerful lungs. Could damn near knock a man's hearing out.

Yeah, bawling was easier.

"Shh." He murmured. "I'm right here, _bao bei_ right here."

The sobs got gaspy.

"Jayne?"

"Yeah, don't cry, beautiful. Jayne's got you safe."

Her hands started moving. Seemed like checking for injuries.

She'd be crying by now if it'd been the screaming dream.

River's sobs were purrs by the time she touched the only throbbing part of him.

Yeah.

Jayne began to return her caresses.

Waking up to crying wasn't bad at all.


	4. The Burden of Proof

"Gorramit! Jayne ain't a girl!" Proof.

"Is that all?" Relief.

"WHAT?" Shock. Hurt. "Whatda ya mean all?"

"Your fantasies indicated a larger… organ." Bemusement.

Anger. Shame. "Ain't nice to laugh about…"

Wide eyes. "Did I laugh?"

"Near enough." Rustling.

"No, don't put it away. I was concerned about fit." Embarrassment.

Stiffening. "Fit?" Hopefulness

Oblivious. "However, the Cortex provides abundant images of women inserting much larger objects."

"Damn, girl, what sites have you been on?"

Blush. "I was verifying the plausibility…" More clothing rustling. "Jayne 'ain't' a girl, but River is. We should fit together nicely."

"You're nekkid."

"Yes, I know."


	5. An Interesting Day

Warning: **This is not a character death.**

* * *

Jayne drew before speaking. "We always knew one day the money would be better elsewhere. You knew I'd shoot you in the back on my way out."

Mal froze, mouth open, spoon suspended.

"Seems like now's that day." Jayne smirked. "We have a new captain." He indicated his partner. "River's in charge now."

"Shoot Zoë." River commanded mechanically.

Jayne's aim shifted. Water drenched Zoë's forehead.

"April fools!" River shrieked. She pulled Jayne out of the room double quick.

Zoë wiped her face. "Ain't so sure them being friends is a good idea, Sir."

But she smiled while she said it.

* * *

Wrong time of year, but that just makes it more unexpected. nods 


	6. In A Name

Jayne never said Crazy's name. Not even to himself. Not if he could avoid it.

He used to, once in a while. Then he started noticing how easy it was to say. Not to mention how his voice sounded different saying it. So he stopped.

There were plenty of other things to call her. Reaver-Killer, Crazy, Weapon, Moonbrain, Girl.

Problem with that last was it should rightly be Woman. He tried it out down in his bunk, but that made his voice sound funny too.

She knew why. She looked into his eyes, saw right into his soul.

Gorram Reader.


End file.
